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Songs from the Crypt

by The Bone Pounder

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1.
Introduction 00:54
2.
BONE POUNDER (x4) I'm a lady boner. And I give the girls a lady boner. Bride of Frankenstein? Yeah, that chick's a moaner! And Kuchisake-onna? I got 'em all over town! Stick with me girl, I'll turn that frown upside down! Literally! Hell of the upside down sinner. I used to live large, but that Roma said "Thinner!" Now I'm a skeleton. In the crypt I can't be beat. Welcome to my tomb, stay for a "bite" to eat. A Candarian demon, I feel the fire from Ash But I got time to do the horizontal monster mash! Skeleton flow- like the Titans we Clash. Got an axe to grind with me? You just molten Street Trash I'm a Tenefly Viper, black mamba, diamond back I got a Chamber of Secrets, make all your Christmases Black Representing all the monsters that your codecies lack Bahamut, Jorogumo and the Bakhtak! Say my name! BONE POUNDER (x4)
3.
Interlude 1 01:21
4.
The One Eyed Thing (From Outer Space) Just like the blob- it came on a comet from space No one knows where, but this is the case It's long, it's strong- let me tell you 'bout this monster jawn It's got one eye, but not like Snake Pliskin Dead center of the head, and it's covered in green skin Slither like the Worms, with Jaws like a Piranha And it vomits through it's eye, don't get none on'ya! The one Eyed Thing (From Outer Space) Crushing the town, so get your boots laced Gotta take it out 'for it lays the land to waste It's the One Eyed Thing (From Outer Space!) It's a the big green meat that can't be beat Standing up tall on two round feet, With a big sick eye, in the center of it's head Tell Tale Heart- man I wish it was dead! When you need a hero- man where is Hugh Largo? If you wanna survive move your ass out to Fargo Don't piss your jeans, cross the streams, And light it up with proton beams! The one Eyed Thing (From Outer Space) Crushing the town, so get your boots laced Gotta take it out 'for it lays the land to waste It's the One Eyed Thing (From Outer Space!) Monsters come from Jupiter because they're stupider, Skeletons come from Mars because they're super stars, Monsters drink coke, cus they're a big joke, Skulls drink pepsi, to stay more sexy! The one Eyed Thing (From Outer Space) Crushing the town, so get your boots laced Gotta take it out 'for it lays the land to waste It's the One Eyed Thing (From Outer Space!)
5.
Interlude 2 00:52
6.
"I can cut the bottle, and the bottle won't crack!" So let's make a bet? "Nothin' or double jack!" Cat reflexes, or he get the bone, What happened Wang? "It always works at home!" One Thousand One Hundred Forty 8 Times Two I can pay you later- I got some things to do Kick it to the airport let the story begin The lords of death creepin' up on mow yin Now you can't mess with Jack, watch what you say Once you bring the noise, "Son of a bitch must pay." They got this sort of clubhouse where they sharpen their knives Lords of Death, Wing Kong, better run for your lives Turn right now anLem Li's coffin hit the ground It's a chinese stand-off Don't make a sound Red and Yellow Turbans both tossed assunder But it all comes down to lightning wind and thunder It was The storms three storms! Brother, what you gonna do? And then lo-pan that he drove over... no through! Blind in the eyes though you feel no pain, "Hey wang chi." They know your name... Kick it to the Dragon, cuz you just been beaten raw On a dark and stormy night enters gracie law A girl with green eyes will fetch twice the price And the White Tiger is where they gonna treat you nice They have soothed the savage heart, and tamed the burning blade Two girls with green eyes that have made the grade He'll kill gracie law and take mow yin as a bride Have you sent to the hell where you will be skinned alive Egg Shen is on the scene, for what it's worth Leading jack through the black blood of the earth It's been his dream, his purpose, and never was a chore And when the monster come, it will come out no more Here's to the army and havy and the battles they have won Here's to old glory's colors, that will never run And may the wings of liberty, never lose feather Now drink up boys, we've got to kill the weather Huge Bugs, that's fine, these powers ain't a drag But now I bet you're jealosu of that six demon bag It's lo Pan's Wedding, Jack is Ready for the fight He's the most brutal sidekick fighting on the side of right Lo Pan lost gracie law, but took mow yin for his wife, And now that he's flesh he tells jack, "Nice Knife" But don't say goodbye to soon, and cry into your klneexes Because when you mess with Jack? "It's all in the reflexes!" Ain't no thing, he's got skills that you can't redress And make your big escape in the porkchop express Jack and Wang brought the noise and turned it to eleven, Cause it's big trouble, little china, shake the pillars, of heaven Chorus: Jack! Jack! He just wants his truck back. Story of a hero You don't want to attack Jack! Jack! You got the girl back Story of a hero you don't want to attack
7.
Interlude 3 01:00
8.
He was a living corpse at the Borneo Circus Buried alive at every stop on the circuits An image of the past but that's the biz we call show He was just sixteen when he chose this life you know Vaudeville days, Not much scratch but it's OK, Browning kept it real reading books, writing plays But he was cut down- back in 1915 And it delayed his entry to the silver screen, It was a crash- he was crushed, they were the unholy three Browning, Booth and George all in the front seat. Booth lost his life and George lost his mind Browning crushed his leg, and was kept from the grind And if you believe the rumors he lost more than time Let's say he'd never feel a love so sublime IT was two years spent before he hit that first role And went on to living death, burning hand and The Unknown From the circus to the screen, silent as stars From the grave to the limelight, and smashed up cars Don't walk the streets of London when it's after midnight Or stand up against Joan Crawford in an amputee knife fight One of us, one of them Obsessed with amputation One of us, one of them Lon Cheney every day, son! "To be dead... to be really dead...." 1927! London After Midnight. Silent vampires walk beneath the street lights In the pictures Lon Cheny Turned it to 11 But the last print was destroyed in 67! Remade in '35, but not quite as live As the Mark of the Vampire- Yes this print Survived. But we've moved ahead- with these tales of the undead Let's go back six years, In this story of fear, To when the first words in a Browning film were said! 1929! Legosi showed on time, In the 13th Chair, with a talent rare in just 2 years, he would give us all fears, In '31, the dead was done, And Hollywood was changed for years and yearrs DRACULA! That's what you came to hear But rumor is hated that tale of fear That he was rarely on set- that his skills were inept But it doesn't matter because talkie horror was beget From the circus to the screen, silent as stars From the grave to the limelight, and smashed up cars Don't walk the streets of London when it's after midnight Or stand up against Joan Crawford in an amputee knife fight One of us, one of them Obsessed with amputation One of us, one of them Lon Cheney every day, son! Oh- Then Came Frankenstein Oh- Then Came The Code In Time Oh- Then Abbot And Costello Reigned Oh- And nothing was the same "one of us one of us..." From the circus to the screen, silent as stars From the grave to the limelight, and smashed up cars Don't walk the streets of London when it's after midnight Or stand up against Joan Crawford in an amputee knife fight One of us, one of them Obsessed with amputation One of us, one of them Lon Cheney every day, son! "one of us one of us..."
9.
Outro 01:10

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Horror Host "The Bone Pounder" hosts this collection of songs designed to teach you all about monsters, movies and madness.

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released July 15, 2016

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The Bone Pounder Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

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