Songs from the Crypt

by The Bone Pounder

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Horror Host "The Bone Pounder" hosts this collection of songs designed to teach you all about monsters, movies and madness.

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released July 15, 2016

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The Bone Pounder Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

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Track Name: The Bone Pounder's Song (Say My Name)
BONE POUNDER (x4)

I'm a lady boner.
And I give the girls a lady boner.
Bride of Frankenstein? Yeah, that chick's a moaner!
And Kuchisake-onna? I got 'em all over town!
Stick with me girl, I'll turn that frown upside down!

Literally! Hell of the upside down sinner.
I used to live large, but that Roma said "Thinner!"
Now I'm a skeleton. In the crypt I can't be beat.
Welcome to my tomb, stay for a "bite" to eat.

A Candarian demon, I feel the fire from Ash
But I got time to do the horizontal monster mash!
Skeleton flow- like the Titans we Clash.
Got an axe to grind with me? You just molten Street Trash

I'm a Tenefly Viper, black mamba, diamond back
I got a Chamber of Secrets, make all your Christmases Black
Representing all the monsters that your codecies lack
Bahamut, Jorogumo and the Bakhtak!

Say my name!
BONE POUNDER (x4)
Track Name: The One Eyed Thing (From Outer Space)
The One Eyed Thing (From Outer Space)

Just like the blob- it came on a comet from space
No one knows where, but this is the case
It's long, it's strong-
let me tell you 'bout this monster jawn

It's got one eye, but not like Snake Pliskin
Dead center of the head, and it's covered in green skin
Slither like the Worms, with Jaws like a Piranha
And it vomits through it's eye, don't get none on'ya!

The one Eyed Thing (From Outer Space)
Crushing the town, so get your boots laced
Gotta take it out 'for it lays the land to waste
It's the One Eyed Thing (From Outer Space!)

It's a the big green meat that can't be beat
Standing up tall on two round feet,
With a big sick eye, in the center of it's head
Tell Tale Heart- man I wish it was dead!

When you need a hero- man where is Hugh Largo?
If you wanna survive move your ass out to Fargo
Don't piss your jeans, cross the streams,
And light it up with proton beams!

The one Eyed Thing (From Outer Space)
Crushing the town, so get your boots laced
Gotta take it out 'for it lays the land to waste
It's the One Eyed Thing (From Outer Space!)

Monsters come from Jupiter because they're stupider,
Skeletons come from Mars because they're super stars,
Monsters drink coke, cus they're a big joke,
Skulls drink pepsi, to stay more sexy!

The one Eyed Thing (From Outer Space)
Crushing the town, so get your boots laced
Gotta take it out 'for it lays the land to waste
It's the One Eyed Thing (From Outer Space!)
Track Name: Jack Burton (Feat. Tim Dean)
"I can cut the bottle, and the bottle won't crack!"
So let's make a bet?
"Nothin' or double jack!"
Cat reflexes, or he get the bone,
What happened Wang?
"It always works at home!"
One Thousand One Hundred Forty 8 Times Two
I can pay you later- I got some things to do
Kick it to the airport let the story begin
The lords of death creepin' up on mow yin

Now you can't mess with Jack, watch what you say
Once you bring the noise, "Son of a bitch must pay."
They got this sort of clubhouse where they sharpen their knives
Lords of Death, Wing Kong, better run for your lives
Turn right now anLem Li's coffin hit the ground
It's a chinese stand-off Don't make a sound
Red and Yellow Turbans both tossed assunder
But it all comes down to lightning wind and thunder

It was The storms three storms! Brother, what you gonna do?
And then lo-pan that he drove over... no through!
Blind in the eyes though you feel no pain,
"Hey wang chi." They know your name...
Kick it to the Dragon, cuz you just been beaten raw
On a dark and stormy night enters gracie law
A girl with green eyes will fetch twice the price
And the White Tiger is where they gonna treat you nice

They have soothed the savage heart, and tamed the burning blade
Two girls with green eyes that have made the grade
He'll kill gracie law and take mow yin as a bride
Have you sent to the hell where you will be skinned alive
Egg Shen is on the scene, for what it's worth
Leading jack through the black blood of the earth
It's been his dream, his purpose, and never was a chore
And when the monster come, it will come out no more

Here's to the army and havy and the battles they have won
Here's to old glory's colors, that will never run
And may the wings of liberty, never lose feather
Now drink up boys, we've got to kill the weather
Huge Bugs, that's fine, these powers ain't a drag
But now I bet you're jealosu of that six demon bag
It's lo Pan's Wedding, Jack is Ready for the fight
He's the most brutal sidekick fighting on the side of right

Lo Pan lost gracie law, but took mow yin for his wife,
And now that he's flesh he tells jack, "Nice Knife"
But don't say goodbye to soon, and cry into your klneexes
Because when you mess with Jack? "It's all in the reflexes!"
Ain't no thing, he's got skills that you can't redress
And make your big escape in the porkchop express
Jack and Wang brought the noise and turned it to eleven,
Cause it's big trouble, little china, shake the pillars, of heaven

Chorus:
Jack! Jack!
He just wants his truck back.
Story of a hero
You don't want to attack
Jack! Jack!
You got the girl back
Story of a hero
you don't want to attack
Track Name: The Ballad of Tod Browning
He was a living corpse at the Borneo Circus
Buried alive at every stop on the circuits
An image of the past but that's the biz we call show
He was just sixteen when he chose this life you know

Vaudeville days,
Not much scratch but it's OK,
Browning kept it real reading books, writing plays
But he was cut down- back in 1915
And it delayed his entry to the silver screen,

It was a crash- he was crushed, they were the unholy three
Browning, Booth and George all in the front seat.
Booth lost his life and George lost his mind
Browning crushed his leg, and was kept from the grind

And if you believe the rumors he lost more than time
Let's say he'd never feel a love so sublime
IT was two years spent before he hit that first role
And went on to living death, burning hand and The Unknown

From the circus to the screen, silent as stars
From the grave to the limelight, and smashed up cars
Don't walk the streets of London when it's after midnight
Or stand up against Joan Crawford in an amputee knife fight
One of us, one of them
Obsessed with amputation
One of us, one of them
Lon Cheney every day, son!

"To be dead... to be really dead...."

1927! London After Midnight.
Silent vampires walk beneath the street lights
In the pictures Lon Cheny Turned it to 11
But the last print was destroyed in 67!

Remade in '35, but not quite as live
As the Mark of the Vampire- Yes this print Survived.
But we've moved ahead- with these tales of the undead
Let's go back six years,
In this story of fear,
To when the first words in a Browning film were said!

1929! Legosi showed on time,
In the 13th Chair, with a talent rare
in just 2 years, he would give us all fears,
In '31, the dead was done,
And Hollywood was changed for years and yearrs

DRACULA! That's what you came to hear
But rumor is hated that tale of fear
That he was rarely on set- that his skills were inept
But it doesn't matter because talkie horror was beget

From the circus to the screen, silent as stars
From the grave to the limelight, and smashed up cars
Don't walk the streets of London when it's after midnight
Or stand up against Joan Crawford in an amputee knife fight
One of us, one of them
Obsessed with amputation
One of us, one of them
Lon Cheney every day, son!

Oh- Then Came Frankenstein
Oh- Then Came The Code In Time
Oh- Then Abbot And Costello Reigned
Oh- And nothing was the same

"one of us one of us..."

From the circus to the screen, silent as stars
From the grave to the limelight, and smashed up cars
Don't walk the streets of London when it's after midnight
Or stand up against Joan Crawford in an amputee knife fight
One of us, one of them
Obsessed with amputation
One of us, one of them
Lon Cheney every day, son!

"one of us one of us..."